


a hard bargain

by whistlingwindtree



Series: The Umbrella Academy (Diego and Eudora) [12]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cop! Diego Hargreeves, Drabble, F/M, Sassy Eudora Patch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 04:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18422568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whistlingwindtree/pseuds/whistlingwindtree
Summary: What's a girl to do when she needs a fiancé? Proposition the cop that pulls her over, of course!





	a hard bargain

“Goddammit!” Eudora Patch groaned as she glanced in her rearview mirror. Flashing blue lights had appeared with the wail of a siren, and were drawing closer. With a sinking heart, she pulled to the side of the road, her thoughts racing. She was already late to Granny Annie's birthday dinner and should’ve remembered the speed traps in the small town.

_Maybe you should come home more often._

She shook her head to banish her mother's critical voice and tried to look as pitiful as possible as the state trooper slammed out his car, and swaggered towards her.

"Maybe I should visit more than once a year," she breathed as he drew closer. They sure didn’t have law enforcement this tall, tan and built back in the city.

“Ma’am?” Oblivious to her thoughts, the officer placed his hands akimbo, the sun reflecting off his aviator shades.  “You were doing 60 when the limit’s 45.”  Eudora glanced down at his strong, veined hands, with lean tapered fingers and immediately lost her train of thought. His deep voice was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard, and she wanted to see his eyes behind those shades.

He must’ve read her mind because he whipped them off and tucked them into his work shirt. There was a scar that ran on the side of his head where the frames hid, and another on his eyebrow, which intrigued Eudora, but more importantly, he looked about her age. 

Her eyes widened as a plan formed. 

“Office Hargreeves?” She smiled, reading his badge. “I have a proposal for you.”  

He rolled his eyes, probably used to being propositioned by women wanting to get out a ticket.

“License and registration, ma’am.”

 _Go big or go home_ was Eudora’s motto,  so she laid all her cards on the line.

“Pretend to be my fiance for two weeks, so my grandmother thinks that I’ve settled down.” Eudora innocently gazed up. “And I’ll pay what you probably make in a year.”

Officer Hargreeves snorted. “Good one, lady.”

“Don’t believe me?”

“Ma’am,” Hargreeves leaned down, so he was on her level. “If you’re propositioning strangers, something tells me there's a reason why you're single.” His brown eyes danced merrily as if laughing at her. "Thanks, but no thanks."

But Eudora Nicole Patch, who’d been summoned home with the ultimatum to be at least engaged by thirty-five or cut off from the family fortune was desperate, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Can you come nearer, Officer?" She blinked innocently and when he was close enough, his face inches from hers, she smirked. "You don't have a body cam but your dash cam is on." She reached up and brushed her lips against his and when he froze, surprised, she grew bold. "It's gonna look like you're kissing me from that dash cam. And this is a fireable offense." 

Hargreeves gasped, and Eudora grazed his lips again, closing her eyes when he roughly kissed her back, his tongue sliding against hers. 

"Pretend to be your fiancé or lose my job?" Hargreeves murmured when they broke free. "You drive a hard bargain, ma'am. But I think I'm gonna have to decline." He bit her lower lip, kissed it, before straightening up with a shit eating grin.  "I hate this fucking job."  His gaze lingered on her now swollen lips. "License and registration. Or we're gonna continue this in county jail, where there aren't any cameras." He reached out and fixed her hair, biting back a laugh as she inhaled a sharp breath. "And the name's Diego."

**Author's Note:**

> \- A problem I ran into, is that I have no idea what city TUA is set in, so I don't know what PD name to use. I decided to go with a generic state trooper since where I live, state troopers pull you over anywhere, not just on the highway/interstate lol.  
> \- I love Eudora Patch, and I'm gonna put her in every AU known to man xD


End file.
